Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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