Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
