Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
