he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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