OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
