I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
