I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
