mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Come share oat with me in your robe
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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