My friends, they love my intelligence
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
