k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
