shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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