separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
