I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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