He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
