i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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