There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
