if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
