Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize