Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
