I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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