Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
