Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
