But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
