I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
