I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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