I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
