i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
