we have officially lost it.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
