dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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