i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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