He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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