he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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