I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
love makes seman taste better
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
