yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
