the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
