I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
