Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
