You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
