1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
