i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
