I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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