He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
