It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
