i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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