Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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