If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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