hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
