I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
