ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
