Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
