pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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