TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
