as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
