I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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