I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
