You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
