Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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