i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
