Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
