careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My Higher Power is John Stamos
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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