he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if only i could text you this smell
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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