I'm really into asian looking animals
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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