she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
