My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize