Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
