im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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