yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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