that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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