I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
