hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
