Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
