We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize