Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
