I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
