what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
