PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
