She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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