i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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