There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize