Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
