I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
