peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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