Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
