i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
