Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
