why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
