youre lurking in front of me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Duck Duck Cougar?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
