Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
