for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
