Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
