Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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