Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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